This post started out as a semi-comedic post, but when I found myself in Twitter Jail 13 hours later, the humor wore off. Now, as I type this update, I am pissed beyond belief. I will still run the original post that I wrote, however.
It is 3:48 a.m. and my stay in Twitter jail has miraculously ended. What I don’t understand is why I was put there in the first place. I did not exceed 1,000 tweets/day or even 100 tweets/hour. I did go over 100 tweets in a day, but there’s nothing abnormal about that.
I just sent Twitter support a tweet about this ordeal. It is ridiculous and makes me wonder how many other people have been put there unfairly.
Now, back to my original blog post.
I will never forget the tweet I was dying to send when it happened.
“All toilet paper is not created equal.”
I typed those words into that little box that I have grown to love and went to hit “tweet” like I normally do. Nothing happened. Maybe I didn’t hit it, I thought. I tried again. Still nothing. WTF. My pulse quickened. Like a maniac, I continued to hit the button over and over again thinking the harder I hit it, the more it would work.
And that’s when it hit me…something was wrong. Oh my God, somebody hacked my account, I thought. I looked for signs of a hacked account. No. That didn’t seem like the answer. Just in case, I decided to change my password, logged out and came back in. Still, I wasn’t able to tweet.
After minutes of logging out and logging back in, frantically hitting buttons and doing searches on Google, it dawned on me. I, my friends, had a one-way ticket to Twitter Jail.
I Googled Twitter Jail. According to several websites, you don’t get sent to Twitter Jail unless you exceed 100 tweets/hour or 1,000 tweets/day. I was no where near those quotas. The day before, I did tweet like I was on speed or some other illegal drug because the Grammys was on. I counted the tweets. Over 100 in 24 hours. Maybe the people who listed those stats had it wrong, I thought. Maybe they mean tweeting 100 times/day will land you in Twitter Jail.
Unless you have been sent to Twitter Jail, you will never understand the frustration/the madness that comes with being sent to this dark place. You can look in on everything, see the Twitterverse go on as usual, but you can’t do anything about it. The worst part about it is that you are sent to Twitter Jail without being notified of it. It’s like committing a crime that you blacked out on…that you can’t remember ever happening. Even with real jail, you are not able to look out on the world as it goes on. What kind of sadomasochistic *bleeps* run Twitter that they allow you to see the Twitter world from your window without being able to participate? That’s torture.
I’ve been locked out for 8 hours now. As I type this, I’m praying that when the sun rises I will be able to tweet from my account. You don’t know the madness that accompanies not being able to engage in your drug of choice. Twitter is mine.
With regular jail, at least you know when you’ll get out. Not so with Twitter Jail. They force you to check in to see if you can tweet. How ridiculous. What kind of jail are you sent to where you have to monitor when you’ll be set free? At least with real jail, you have some of idea of when your sentence will end because you’re told up front how long your stint will be.
I’m in shock. *sighs* Until I’m set free, there’s always Facebook, right?