Monday, January 2, 2012

Mandatory DNA Testing? Absolutely!

I can hear the collective sighs and grunts as I write this post, but here we go.

I think mandatory/automatic DNA testing should be done in order to establish the paternity of a child, especially when it comes to ordering fathers to pay child support. Hear me out. In a world where sexual freedom has reigned supreme, as women, I think we owe it to potential fathers to prove that a child is his.

First of all, let me say that I am in no way supportive of the “baby daddies” out there, especially those who try to escape paying child support by saying “how do I know the baby is mine?” I have my own baby daddy issues and was on the receiving end of those words. Needless to say, I wanted to slap him because he was the ONLY man I was sleeping around with for years when we conceived my daughter. I knew he said those words in order to escape the responsibility of having to take care of a baby, and you know what I said? I said, “I would be HAPPY to get a DNA test.”

I knew I had absolutely nothing to hide and was willing to prove it to him. He disappeared before I could get the DNA test, but I know he knows my baby girl is his. When I catch up to him, we WILL have the test to prove it.

I know of too many women who have pinned a child on a man knowing full well the baby might not be his because she was sleeping around with multiple men at the time. This is not fair to the “father” and it’s definitely not fair to the child.

A family member pinned her daughter on another man and everyone in the family knew he couldn’t possibly be the father because the little girl looked nothing like him. I know the mother never got a DNA test because she wasn’t sure if the child was his either. That daughter has been left with a question mark hanging over her adult head. I’m sure she wonders if that man is her father and, if not, where her real father is.

Every child has a right to know who their father is…where they came from.  Now that we have the technology to prove it, why not take advantage of that fact? Besides, those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.

I also feel sorry for those fathers who have paid child support for years only to find out that the baby wasn’t theirs. I have seen enough “You Are Not The Father” shows on Maury Povich to know that there are women out here who trap a man because he may be more financially secure than the other man she was sleeping with. (For a humorous approach on the Maury scandals, take a look at one of my old posts "You Are Not The Father".) This is a shame and it’s an embarrassment to “the womanhood.”

Own up to your situation. If you were sleeping with multiple men, let the potential fathers know this up front. Don’t bring a child into the world with a question mark. Out of all the bad decisions I made, at least I did something right because I can breathe easily knowing that “you are the father.” *said in my Maury Povich voice*

Here’s to happy, healthy, whole children who know their roots. And don’t let me catch you on Maury. ;-)


  1. I have to agree with this. It is really only fair to the mother, and the child as well as the father. I don't support the dudes who want to run away from the responsibility, but I do support the ones who want to do the right thing, but want to be sure.

    It's a slippery slope when the paternity of a child comes into question and then it's all over the TV. Shame. I've seen enough Maury shoes to know.

  2. I have worked in law for 17 years. I have seen a lot of fathers go through this. As crazy as this sounds to some people, I think married people should be tested as well. You would not believe the women who have had affairs and men have found out years later that the child that calls them daddy and that they have bonded with isn't even theirs. It's a sad situation for all involved.

  3. Yes, BWN, a mandatory law would protect both parties and definitely dads who want to do the right thing. Girl, those Maury shows are truly shameful.

    C, I agree about married couples being tested. I envision the law going across the board for everybody. It's definitely sad for all the moms, dads and children when lying is involved. We really gotta do better.

  4. I had to marinate on this one for a minute...LOL...that's one thing I love about your posts...while I may not always agree, you always give me something to think about and sometimes, as in this case, have me readjust my views on different topics.

    When I initially saw the title...I was like what, the what??? But you make very valid points and there are, unfortunately, some very trifling women out there who knowingly (and sometimes unknowingly) trick and trap a man into fatherhood. I would think any man would be smart enough to demand a DNA test before putting his name on a birth certificate and paying child support to someone he was not married to, but love makes us all do some special things.

    The verdict is still out on the married couples mandatory testing for me, but the same method of thinking goes...if you have doubts, then get the test sooner rather than later. There are way too many at-home tests that can be taken these days, so the money excuse can no longer be given as a cop out.

  5. Hey, Ms. Diva! Thanks for dropping by. It’s a good thing when you make people think even when they don’t agree with you (the world would be a boring place if folks agreed with me all the time).

    Some very trifling women out here indeed. LOL I think some men who are still in the relationship with the woman don’t ask for the DNA test out of fear that they will offend the woman. Yup, that thing called love is a funny thing.

    You’re right…in this day and age, there is absolutely no excuse.

  6. Says gurllllll only if u knew*my oldest son has a 4yr.old by this bum ass gurl and my youngest son decides to sleep w her too*and she alsi told multiple men they were the fathers along w my youngest son*well she had got 3dna test&my son was the 4th*and what'll u know*my nasty as* youngest son is THE FATHER*this is so heartbreaking for my oldest son especially*this stank ass girl&her family dont see the wrong doin*the kids r bros.&cuzins * thts y i agree w u cauz my embarrassed son wouldnt man up

  7. Wow. I'm speechless about this situation. Here's to hoping they resolve it in the best way possible for the sake of the children.