I can hear the collective sighs and grunts as I write this post, but here we go.
I think mandatory/automatic DNA testing should be done in order to establish the paternity of a child, especially when it comes to ordering fathers to pay child support. Hear me out. In a world where sexual freedom has reigned supreme, as women, I think we owe it to potential fathers to prove that a child is his.
First of all, let me say that I am in no way supportive of the “baby daddies” out there, especially those who try to escape paying child support by saying “how do I know the baby is mine?” I have my own baby daddy issues and was on the receiving end of those words. Needless to say, I wanted to slap him because he was the ONLY man I was sleeping around with for years when we conceived my daughter. I knew he said those words in order to escape the responsibility of having to take care of a baby, and you know what I said? I said, “I would be HAPPY to get a DNA test.”
I knew I had absolutely nothing to hide and was willing to prove it to him. He disappeared before I could get the DNA test, but I know he knows my baby girl is his. When I catch up to him, we WILL have the test to prove it.
I know of too many women who have pinned a child on a man knowing full well the baby might not be his because she was sleeping around with multiple men at the time. This is not fair to the “father” and it’s definitely not fair to the child.
A family member pinned her daughter on another man and everyone in the family knew he couldn’t possibly be the father because the little girl looked nothing like him. I know the mother never got a DNA test because she wasn’t sure if the child was his either. That daughter has been left with a question mark hanging over her adult head. I’m sure she wonders if that man is her father and, if not, where her real father is.
Every child has a right to know who their father is…where they came from. Now that we have the technology to prove it, why not take advantage of that fact? Besides, those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.
I also feel sorry for those fathers who have paid child support for years only to find out that the baby wasn’t theirs. I have seen enough “You Are Not The Father” shows on Maury Povich to know that there are women out here who trap a man because he may be more financially secure than the other man she was sleeping with. (For a humorous approach on the Maury scandals, take a look at one of my old posts "You Are Not The Father".) This is a shame and it’s an embarrassment to “the womanhood.”
Own up to your situation. If you were sleeping with multiple men, let the potential fathers know this up front. Don’t bring a child into the world with a question mark. Out of all the bad decisions I made, at least I did something right because I can breathe easily knowing that “you are the father.” *said in my Maury Povich voice*
Here’s to happy, healthy, whole children who know their roots. And don’t let me catch you on Maury. ;-)