Thursday, January 19, 2012

It Is What It Is

Sometimes, no matter how much you want something to change, it just doesn’t happen. You get stuck wishing and hoping things would be different…that things will change…that things will get better. While stuck, it feels like that bad thing is going to last forever. While stuck, you feel like your life is going to be like this forever. Like a hamster on a wheel, you continue to run around grasping at anything that will spark the match of change. And it just doesn’t work. Been there before. There right now. 

When I get like this, I try to remember the lessons I learned in Iyanla Vanzant’s book The Value in the Valley. I try to remember her lesson of surrender, her lesson of acceptance. Surrendering to where you are right now doesn’t mean that you give up and stop trying to make things better. Surrendering simply means accepting “what is”. i.e., It is what it is. Sink into that. Understand that. And then work from there.

As they say, tough times don’t last forever. As a matter of fact, good times don’t last forever. So, when the good times come, cherish them. When the bad times come (as they inevitably do), walk through them.

Make peace with the difficult time you are going through. Hold its hand. Make it your friend, not a best friend, but at least an acquaintance. By making peace with it, I’m willing to bet these dark times will give way to our sunny days.

Yes, I know I sound sappy. But there’s a reason that inspirational quotes and books exist. They are there to help us weather the difficult times and make peace with them. Once we do that, I’m willing to bet it will make room for something better to take its place.


  1. Value in the Valley was a life changing book for me!

  2. Absolutely! I used to read it over and over again. I really need to pick it up again.