It’s almost turkey day. A time when families get together, sit around the table and stuff themselves with the scrumptious food that they are blessed to have. A time when everyone shares what they are thankful for. A time when hugs and love are shared with reckless abandon. *inserts record scratch* Not in my family.
My family isn’t close. Never have been. Over the years that has gotten worse with stories of fisticuffs, the worst screaming fights possible and plain old violence. I never thought we would be like this and I don’t know what happened. (P.S. When I say “family”, I mean my immediate family: mother, brothers, sisters, etc. I’m not married and don’t have a spouse.)
The only time we remotely resembled what you see flashing across the TV screen or hear other people talking about was Christmas 2002 (I think that was the year...I always get years mixed up). I was making good money as a media coordinator and decided to host my very first Christmas dinner. Even though the food was bad (I’m not a good cook), we had a wonderful time. We laughed, we ate, we watched movies and jammed to music. My immediate family would talk about it every year for years to come. However, this year, my family has crumbled apart beyond repair and Humpty Dumpty can’t put it back together again. (No details necessary. Anyone who follows my blog knows what’s going on.)
Of course, people don’t want to hear this kind of story during Thanksgiving. Even I have to admit, it’s a downer. But, I wanted to share because not all Thanksgivings and Christmases are full of family cheer.
I still love this time of the year, though. I love what it represents—the closeness that should envelop families, the happiness that should surround them. I LOVE Christmas music (my favorite part of the year) and I absolutely LOVE NYE. Before baby girl came along, I would go out and party my ass off.
So, I’ll be doing what I do every year during Thanksgiving and Christmas…not spending it with family. This year, we live in the same house together (which makes things a little more difficult). I’ll see them, but I’ll walk pass them without nary a word.
At least I have my daughter this year. I’ll be spending the holidays with her and I have no complaints with that. She’s what I live for. She’s my joy. She’s what keeps me going. Here’s to hoping me and my daughter break this awful cycle and share the closeness that is meant to exist in a “family”.
Happy Thanksgiving, ya’ll! Wishing you nothing but happiness and joy. Eat enough for me.