Maya means “God’s Creative Power.”
When God blessed me with you, he knew exactly what he was doing. Even though I was doing what it took to "make" you, I didn’t expect you (if that makes any sense). I was going through one of the worst times of my life and wondered how I was going to make it, and then you came along. Now I can’t imagine my world without you, and I find myself wondering what took you so long? (smile)
I now know what it means to love something beyond comprehension. When I look at you sleep, my heart smiles. When I see you playing, I feel like all that is wrong in my world has just been made right. When you look at me with those big, brown eyes, my soul sings.
You are only nine-months-old but we have been through so much together, and I feel like we will always have a strong bond because of how much I clung to you when I had nothing else. You were a Caesarean baby. I always said you didn’t want to move to a downward position because you wanted to be close to my heart. And you still do. Mama has spoiled you.
Maya, I love you so much. I want you to grow up and live a good life…a happy life. I want you to have all the things that eluded me: a good, stable childhood, a mother that you can depend on. I want you to be smart, to be kind, to be productive. I want you to wear the name Maya well (because I named you after one of the wisest women alive…Maya Angelou).
I want you to find a good man…not one who plays one on TV. Our family has been cursed with single moms who have had to bear the burden alone because of our bad choices in men. I made a lot of wrong decisions in who I chose to “love.” I don’t want you to be like that. Of course you’re going to make mistakes—we all do—but don’t live in those mistakes. Move on from them and become all that you are meant to be.
I want you to be educated. Even though I don’t think you have to go to college to be successful, I still want you to go, because that degree is something they can’t take away from you no matter what happens. I learned that lesson from personal experience…from being homeless and bouncing around from place to place. Even in all of that, I had my mind…my intelligence…and I want that for you.
Baby girl, I know when you grow up and become a teenager we are gonna have some trying times ahead because you will begin to “feel your ovaries.” Most of us do. But, I’m ready for that and I pray that I’m around to experience that (because some mothers aren’t).
I love you, honeybee, and I’m so happy you’re here. Of course there will be a lot more letters from me (‘cause I got a lot of things to say), but it’s just nice to start.