Sunday, August 28, 2011

Rent-A-Man

Strong man
Wouldn’t it be nice if women could rent a man for free? Let me explain. I have spent too many winters shoveling my car out of blizzards and small snowstorms to count. And today, I was a victim of the wrath of Irene. Our basement flooded and I was left holding the bag to perform cleanup duty after a family member “disappeared.” I found myself complaining like a baby as I poured bucket upon bucket of water out the door into the grass in the backyard. “I wish I had a man!” I whined.

Now get this…I consider myself to be an independent woman. I have shoveled snow like a dude and felt proud to do so because I am “a strong woman.” Men would come up to me and ask if I needed help and I would decline because I didn’t want them to expect “something” in return.

As a woman, I think there is always that underlying question about a man’s motive whenever he helps you out. And there’s a reason for that. Most of the time men do have ulterior motives when they do something for you. So, that’s why I say wouldn’t it be nice if there was a Rent-A-Man business where you can get help for free and not have to worry about whether or not the man is helping you out so he can sleep with you?

The business would consist of a group of men who volunteer to help women who need “manly things” done and it would be in their contract that they can’t hit the woman up for nothing—no money, no goodies (i.e., sex)—nothing. Just come and do the job and be gone. God, wouldn’t that be great!

I suppose some women would say just get a boyfriend and he can do all that stuff for you. Well, I don’t want a boyfriend. I have been “manned out” and I’m not looking for a partner of any kind (thanks, babydaddy, for ruining me for life!). I know I’m not the only one who doesn’t want a boyfriend but wants to have “manpower” to help her out of those physical binds that she detests.

So, ladies, think about it. Somebody out there should start that business up. Hey, make it a non-profit if you have to. I’m sure a lot of women would be willing to send in a contribution. Until then, I’ll keep shoveling and wishing that I could rent a man.

1 comment:

  1. I have wondered if I can have a wife without being lesbian :) I will come home after long day at work and all laundry, cooking, dishes and cleaning will be done for free. Heck Yeahh!! I can sit down, relax, watch me some TV, take my bra off and scratch my lady hooters :) ...what a bargain men have.

    That guy is huge on the photo :) He is definitely juicing to get that big. Most of the guys I know that are buff are lazy and don't want to engage in household chores :) I don't want a boyfriend because I end up doing all the housework for me and him. I don't have time as it is why would I want to add more chores to my day. Your blog was entertaining but just a suggestion maybe you should think about a "free wife" too :) Women kick ass and take names :)

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