Saturday, August 27, 2011

Leave Our Pu-Pu Alone

Vay-jay-jay. Bearded Clam. Poonanie. No matter what you call it, it’s all the same…code names for our “lady region.” I call it the “pu-pu,” and what I want to tell the beauty industry and men is this: Leave our pu-pu alone!

The beauty industry is always trying to sell women on some bullshit that we need to douche and use their feminine sprays to make our pu-pu smell like a field of flowers. This is absolutely wrong. Cavewomen didn’t douche and they turned out fine. Mother Nature knows best, and inserting objects that aren’t naturally supposed to go in there should be a sin. Your vagina is supposed to have a smell and “Field of Flowers” scent ain’t it.

Back during cavemen times, men chose their mates based on smell. The “Scent Industrial Age” caused all of that to change and blow up in our faces. Men bought into the myth and began to gossip about women whose pu-pu went awry. Or perhaps it was men who started this douching bullshit by talking about a woman whose pu-pu didn’t smell quite “right.” I don’t know which came first…it’s the never-ending chicken or egg debate. No matter how the “Scent-Shaming Industry” came about, it needs to stop!

Yes, sometimes the pu-pu does go rogue and when that happens, you must fix it. By going rogue, I mean there’s an infection down there that causes an odor that is just…well…wrong. That is different from the normal everyday smell that soap and water can take care of. If that happens, get thee to the doctor real quick. LOL (By the way, I’m a huge fan of eating yogurt. It really helps keep the bacteria down there in balance and fixes a multitude of sins. Ladies, douching is not the answer. It washes away the good bacteria along with the bad.)

Global Grind recently did an interview with funnyman Affion Crockett. Back when I had cable, I loved him on “Wild ‘N Out” and now he has his own show on Fox: “In the Flow with Affion Crockett.” Unfortunately, I missed it last Sunday when he and Chris Brown spoofed Michael Jackson.

Anyway, last year, Affion did a parody of Chris Brown’s hit song “Deuces.” For some reason, I didn’t see it even though over five million people in America did. After reading Global Grind’s interview, I YouTubed the video and it was uber-hilarious! I couldn’t stop laughing. Yes, it talks about a woman whose pu-pu has gone awry and I know that by highlighting the spoof, I may be further perpetuating those things that I rally against. However, I would hope my audience is smart enough to be able to get a good laugh out of something without subscribing to the beauty industry’s hype to douche away.

*A couple of hours later* Well, guys, at first I was going to place the video on my blog, but after watching it again, I decided not to. It's kind of raunchy. LOL So, if you're so inclined, just hit it up on YouTube. In closing, I just want to say this: Ladies, put that douche down!!

P.S. One of the characters in my forthcoming novel Zaire's Place has a pu-pu that has gone rogue. Find out who when it comes out. :-)

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